Cloudy but the Sun is out.
A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post titled, “It’s Cloudy Over Here Sis”. In that article I described how I felt like I was in a cloudy situation with no clear direction on where to go in life. That feeling is and was a lonely place. I talked about how I felt that I was forgotten about and at the time all I could see was clouds.
Well, it is still cloudy but now the sun is out. In some areas, I am still trying to figure out what direction I should go but it is not as dark as it was. From the time I wrote the post up until now, God has sent some pretty Dope Souls to help me along the way. Some of them were aware of their help, some of them were not. Whatever the case, I am truly grateful.
When talking to a few people in my life about my current state, it was amazing at how many people prayed for me, listened to me and just loved me where I was and where I am currently. For the first time in a long time, I am vulnerable (it is uncomfortable but necessary) and I am learning some things about me at this fabulous age of 38. The beauty of this, I am also unlearning a few things too.
What am I learning you may ask?
1. To Trust People. There are people in this world who truly want the best for you, they want to be there for you and they will be there for you if you give open up and give them the opportunity to do so. There are people who see you in your fragile state and want to be there to help you heal. Those people are the physical versions of light and love. Helping is their sole purpose in life and even as a giver it is okay to let others be there for you when you need them.
2. It is okay to not be okay. There are days where I will not be okay. I will be tired, uncertain, etc. It is okay. I won’t always be in that state and it is normal to feel this way.
3. There is a difference between enabling and helping. Sometimes I take on things or roles, thinking that I am helping, unfortunately, I may be enabling others to stay in situations they need to get out of themselves.
4. Get help early. When I started to see that I needed help in a certain area of life. I should have reached out. Don’t wait…When you see the warning signs solicit the help. You can’t do it all by yourself and you are not meant to.
5. Allow others to love me. It is okay to let other’s love me and express their love for me. Especially when it is being reciprocated. I deserve it too.
Sis! This is a different journey from the ones I have taken in the past as it is one of true self discovery and vulnerability. I am nervous but the beauty of it all is that although it is still cloudy…The sun is out.
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